March 25, 2014

 

“Do as I do, not as I say” is classic advice to replace the “do as I say, not as I do” adage. But both are poor heuristics for life.

 

Most people know at least one thing they “should” (self-defined) be doing differently, but may not be in the position to do so because of lack of time, money, resources or will. Those are (a) excuses or (b) mindfully accepted reasons, depending on the circumstances.

 

The gap between saying and doing is huge, and central to integrity. If people are at least at the level where they can recognize their personal deficiencies, wouldn’t it make sense they encourage others to do better than themselves?

 

For example, a parent who smokes should encourage their kids to not smoke. Or a parent who eats poorly should encourage their kids to eat well. Of course they “should” be correcting their own actions, but that’s beside the point here. No one is “perfect” 100% of the time.

 

I also regularly tell young entrepreneurs to not do what I did. Going the non-profit and research path first has been detrimental to my short-term (but hopefully not long-term) entrepreneurial success. I have habits I struggle to correct every single day.

 

The original “do as I say” rule applies if people approach it with a mindset of, “We’re in this fight to live with integrity together.” And obviously not when they have the mindset of “I’m exempt from living with integrity because of XYZ exception.”

 

There is a risk for misinterpreting both versions of the rule. So perhaps it should be: “Do as I mindfully say, not as a I mindlessly do.”

 

I’m bringing this up as a fun thought experiment. Deontological rules are often detrimental when applied mindlessly, and I think we need to actively question them.